Why do you fancy yourself an artist?
I wonder this when I meet most people who claim to be an artist, musician, or anything like that.

Most are fucking ridiculous wannabes.
Some create because it's really what's in them.
But if they can create something substantial, does motive stop someone's work from become real art?

And what was that motive?

Some people saw something cool. A character, a painting, a story, a movie, a song. And said "I want to do that".

Some people want to be seen as a deep passionate soul.

Some people want to be seen as an intellectual.

Some people just don't want to believe what a shallow individual they came be (You can hear me cringe using the word shallow in that context from a mile away).

Some people have to get those ideas out before they loose it and stab themselves.

What am I? My best answer is that it's like vomit. It's a reflex and an unstoppable often unfortunate circumstance.
Does that make me any more legitimate than anyone else? I really doubt it. I readily accept that I'm a hack.
I'm not even sure I like anything about the situation.


I don't think it helps that I've never had someone to really fluidly bounce ideas off of. Like my social interactions never impact anything, while my head is buzzing around inside going mad from cabin fever. A few times I've actually tried to have a real dialogue with someone about my thoughts, my ideas.

I tried some ideas on a friend. He responded with the "That's stupid" "retarded" blah blah blah, response. The wonderful thing is that he thinks he's given me a friendly ribbing. The issue with that being he's never done giving me said ribbing.

Another occasion, I tried discussing the concept of a universe as a building block to something bigger. I was told it was a stupid idea, and pointless to think about because we're all going to die anyway. That kind of response made me want to strangle him.

I don't care if someone ribs on me, I don't care if someone says my ideas are stupid. But it'd be nice if someone actually engaged in the conversation and didn't give me prerecorded responses.

I wonder how many people with creative desires were trapped within their own mind.